🤬 Gunblaster Hyperborea Review
this book belongs in the dump!
Nobody knows what Gunblaster Hyperborea is about, not even the author. It’s full of unhinged digressions, stupid jokes, and horrible sentences. Does this “I.A. McCauley” even know what a sentence IS? This book has more run on sentences than the Chicago Marathon! Am I right folks? Yeesh! Don’t even get me started on the plot. I’ll give you a hint. There isn’t one! I’ve seen babies tell better stories than this. This is a book for babies and idiots, and try-hards who think name dropping Kierkegaard in conversation makes them look smart. I’ve got news for you my friends. It stinks!
Don’t even get me started on the characters. Horse Puncher??? What is this, baby corner? Why does he punch horses? Just like everything else in this book, it’s never explained. To make matters worse, this book deals with serious themes like death, grief, doom, and even gloom. There are moments of true horror in this novel such as when one of the characters gets a “rat blaster” that can zap people and turn them into rats at the press of a button. Who’s writing this stuff??? I can’t make this up.
Just when I thought I couldn’t throw any more tomatoes at this book, I remembered something else. It’s a truly stupid book! Every character in the book is either stupid or annoying, and they all stink! Yikes! Let me tell you something. Whoever wrote this belongs in jail for writing such a BORING book. Even though it’s only around 255 pages I was begging for it to end sooner. Every single page was pure torture, especially the scenes at the beginning. The first half of this book truly freaking sucks. It’s boring and slow, it’s clunky and wierdly written, it’s full of plot holes, and annoying characters who won’t shut up! They’re all just running around saying nonsense.
Nonsense! Now there’s a word. Yes indeed folks, this book is total nonsense. It has nothing meaningful to say. The entire philosophy behind it seemed to be “let’s throw it at the wall and see what stinks!” It’s almost as if it were more important to put stupid jokes on every other page, rather than create compelling characters. I will admit, Lilith and Carmilla’s arc was alright, they seemed pretty cool, but the rest of the characters were annoying and they made me mad! I threw this book across the room five times.
The mirror of doom? What is this, a book for babies? Get out of here. I just couldn’t buy into it, the book seemed like it was constantly making fun of itself. Not like a marvel movie exactly, it was more philosophical, but it still got my goat and made me damn pissed as hell. You know how I told you I threw the book five times? I just threw it again. I threw it across the room and it smashed through a glass window and fell into a puddle outside. I’m looking at it right now and watching rain fall on it. GOOD.
I cannot in good conscience recommend Gunblaster Hyperborea to anyone on this Earth. It’s like it’s trying to be Shakespeare, when really all it is a bunch of garbage! Garbage like you’d find at the DUMP! That’s what I think about this book. Yeesh. I’m so sick of this book I can’t wait to read something else. If you’re considering what book to read, let me tell you folks, you’re going to want to skip this one. Instead of reading this, consider going to the opera or perhaps to the dump. If you’re at the dump, at least you can watch real rats run around instead of reading about them.
★☆☆☆☆ 1/5 STARS